Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother’s tasted better the day before.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Rita Rudner
My husband gave me a necklace. It’s fake…
My husband gave me a necklace. It’s fake. I requested fake. Maybe I’m paranoid, but in this day and age, I don’t want something around my neck that’s worth more than my head.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Rita Rudner
My mother buried three husbands, and two…
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Rita Rudner
Neurotics build castles in the air, psyc…
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Rita Rudner
Someday I want to be rich. Some people g…
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Rita Rudner
When I meet a man I ask myself, ‘Is this…
When I meet a man I ask myself, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with’
Quote, saying and phrase by: Rita Rudner